


Dear Diary

by Himmelslied



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 22:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1835083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himmelslied/pseuds/Himmelslied
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I ignore it but it still hurts. Why do they have to think they are better than anyone, because of the family they were born into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> This is a homework we had to do for our English Class. The assignment was to write a diary entry, from the perspective of teenager, with some of the issues that teenagers often deal with.  
> Potterhead that I am, always, I decided it was a good thing working through some of the stuff that happend at our Harry Potter Marauder's era LARP during Silvester.  
> It's focused mostly on the Severus/Lily/James triangle, with all what that's about.
> 
> I hope you guys like it. Usually first person wouldn't be my writing style of choice but since it is a diary entry I think it's only fitting.

Dear diary,

remember when I told you that I don't understand what's been going on in James' head? He makes a fuss about nearly everything.

Yesterday some magic protection around our school grounds got broken. One of our amours on the fifth corridor came to us and told us we could fix it. He also said that there would be different ordeals, for certain students, that had to fulfill them in order to restore the protection.

You know, I was asked to fulfill this task – it's name was steadfastness – and I knew, that I was the only one who could do it.

So now back to James.

When I got my piece of parchment where it explained my task I told the others. I had to go into the forest without making any noise. I was asked to be perfectly silent and blow out a candle in the woods. Then I'd be allowed to speak and would be faced with a riddle I had to solve.

When I told them, James got worked up so much. He yelled at me like I was his possession, not a human being. We're not even friends so I don't quite understand why he got so mad at me. I can do what I feel is right. He cannot tell me what to do.

When James realized that I would not listen to his advice, he went to my best friend – Sev – telling him that it was impossible to let me go into the forest, let alone let me go on my own.

Anyway, you know how it is. They both hate each other. They despise the other one so much it's hard for them to be in the same room for more than five minutes without fighting.

They agreed. They agreed that I should not go into the forest.

There was some more yelling, shouting and arguing but I was certain.

I felt going into the forest was right and I did.

It turned out I was not able to fulfill my task but I tried my best and survived unharmed.

I admit, it's kind of sweet, that James is so worried about me and my well-being but still...I can protect myself just fine and I hate being treated as if I can't do anything on my own.

I'm really thankful for Pete who helped me escape, so I could sneak out into the forest. Might not have been nice for either James or Sev but I guess they have to live with it.

I don't know what their fighting is all about. Okay so maybe there are some things, dark things, that Sev does James does not approve. But still I can't even understand what their problem is.

I'm friends with Sev and it will stay this way. Get over it James...That's what I'm usually thinking while fighting about Sev with James.

I hate it.

Okay, James really seems to like me...somehow, asking me out almost every day but I don't like him.

Sev was there for me for such a long time that I can't imagine my life without him. He is my best friend.

Still there are some things that I don't like about Sev. It's not the greasy hair or that he doesn't really like to be around many people. Honestly, I never minded.

Appearances do not really count for anything, do they?

You can be as beautiful as the sea at sunset, when your personality is awful, your beauty cannot fix it.

Sev's friends – Devon, Evan and that guy Mulciber – seem to have a rather bad influence on him.

At times I feel that I don't really recognize my oldest friend anymore.

It's not that I cannot accept the fact that Sev and I disagree about some things in the world. I just don't like the way he treats people.

Hurting them for real. Some of his 'victims', I don't know if you can call them that, even had to stay in the ward for some time, bleeding so much there was nothing anyone, except the school-nurse, could do.

I understand that he is angry. So angry about so many things that are not right. At home there's not much for him. His parents only fighting and his father even hates him.

Angry at all the other students, for bullying him.

Sometimes I also understand that he gets angry with me. Sometimes I don't act as if we were friends anymore.

Letting the opinion of others influence me more, than seeking out my best friends point of view. When I realize after a fight, that maybe Sev was right, I feel awful.

Often I don't understand myself at all.

I understand that Sev has every reason to be angry. Angry, that every time something bad happens, everyone blames him first without thinking.

I want to believe him that he doesn't harm everyone, but he makes it harder every time someone is hurt.

It feels he is slipping from my grip and sliding of into the claws of his so called friends Devon, Evan and the others.

I guess that's why Sev and James don't get along. Sev's friends tend to call me bad names. Hurting me with it.

James claims Sev does, too.

I don't believe him though.

I ignore it but it still hurts. Why do they have to think they are better than anyone, because of the family they were born into. They don't even know my parents or my sister so how can they tell they are bad people?

You can't choose your family, can you? I love my family. Though my sister can be annoying as hell, I still love her and mum and dad.

Those friends of Sev think they're better than me or Doris, but they're not. Hurting someone with your words is not right is it?

Often when I hear them say these things to me in the corridors of school I want to shout at them. Tell them that they are stupid for believing that blood matters. I want to scream and tell them that it hurts, but I won't. Because then they will see I care. Care about what people say about me. Even though I know I shouldn't care. I won't let them see it hurts.

They think we're not the same but in the end we're all still human. Nothing more and nothing less. No matter who you're parents are, where you're from or what you look like, what matters in the and are your own actions. The way you behave shows what kind of person you are.

I hope that someday Sev will see, that walking around hurting people isn't right. Maybe even James will see that bullying Sev all the time, is no better than any of Sev's friends calling me names.

You see there I have so much on my mind. I could go on ranting about those two idiots all the time but I guess that's enough for now.

 

Love,

Lily

 

 


End file.
